Give Support, Not Predictions
I would like to shed some light on a challenge I have faced lately. If any of the readers have participated, please know that my words are not meant to be condescending and vindictive. Everything I am about to say is direct, but there is a hope for middle ground. Also people facing the same challenge can perhaps move forward as well.
To begin with, I have no problem with people predicting my potential, and that I have the ability to do great things. The feedback is motivating and positive from my perspective. The challenge is when there are predictions about my path or how my reactions in certain situations. A couple of examples include, "I see you working at a dog school.""I see you opening a bakery for pets," "I see you working or running a bookstore." "I see you working at the library." "I see you enjoying the freedom of the driving once you do it," There are plenty of other examples, but this is the gist of it.
Now some of you are probably taken aback and a little sad by what I just said. I want you to know that I acknowledge that your intentions are good, you clearly think more highly of me then I think of myself at times, you want me to succeed, and perhaps you say those things to ease your own anxiety about my uncertain future. Believe me I get it, yet I don't want your predictions, I want your support.
There are three reasons why. The first reason is that I believe that I'm onto something. In my previous post, I mentioned that I got the idea of founding a riding school with a blend of horsemanship and creativity. I have found two possible connections, there is no guarantee that they will come through but it is a start. This idea is a treasure that I personally dug up, other predictions distract me from opening it and verifying a discovery that will lead to fulfillment in my life. I am open to your suggestions in case I need to consider something else. I have to draw the line the moment predicting is involved, because I need to delve into my idea too and your support for my desire is appreciated.
Second, there is no way to establish that your thoughts about my career path and feelings are true. Despite that I have forgiven, I have not forgotten all of the untrue things that people have said about me. As a result, I am skeptical when others try to validate my career path and my feelings to certain scenarios. Only I can figure both of those things out, and you can be there for me when I do.
Last and most importantly, I am not on the same level as you. I don't have a problem with your drive to take big steps to reach the next big thing, and I support that it is a strategy that works for you. On the other hand, I am learning to accept that it is better for me to take baby steps to reach the next big thing. Going back to the driving, right now I'm taking steps to studying for the permit test. I'm not anywhere close to driving, because my mind is on the permit. So there is no way to tell that I will enjoy the freedom of driving, because I have not reached that point yet, and again there is no way to declare how I will feel about it.
I know that this was a heavy and perhaps hurtful post for some. However the predictions is a challenge that I felt motivated to address, and I'm sure that there are others who are going through this too. Their circumstances may be different then mine, but they may share the same opinions and feelings. There is a need for support, but there is no need for predictions. It is up to us to find our path and determine how certain situations will make us feel. The blessings I want for myself is independence, empowerment and bridging some friction. If those are the blessings that others need right now, I am sending them to you and I hope that you find some others too. Thank you for your time!